Originally I had planned to write about something else today, but a friend inspired me when she texted me and said that she felt desperate about being single and had lost faith that she would ever find her soul mate. When she said that, I instantly knew how she felt. I remember going on a string of dates where I just wasn’t interested in anybody, or the times I dated guys I liked and it just not working out. Going out with my girlfriends and just not meeting anybody I liked, it gets frustrating. Some days you just think finding that person is almost as impossible as winning the lottery. And believe me, it’s a great analogy because when you do find that special someone, you actually feel like you’ve won the lottery because you are SO happy! I know that millions of people go through this and start to give up on the idea that there really is a great match out there for them. So, today’s topic: HAVE FAITH!
There are times when the dating pool can look desolate and you think that there aren’t any “good” single people left out there! That’s simply not true because if you are reading this you are probably single and you are also a great catch! So, that theory is dead because you exist! By having faith, I mean that you cannot give up on yourself or on your dreams of falling in love. Love is something far too important to give up on and so just like every other thing in life, it’s best to turn to something greater than ourselves. You don’t have to be a religious person, but if you are spiritual or believe in a higher being that means you already have some sort of blind faith. Now, it’s time to take that same faith and put your trust in whatever that higher being is for you and TRUST that the right person will come to you. They may not come to you in the exact shape or time frame you thought, but always know they are on their way. If you start to give up or believe otherwise, I guarantee you won’t ever meet anybody.
For that amazing person to come to you, you also have to be ready to receive love into your life. You have to be emotionally ready to receive a mature, loving and monogamous relationship. We all think that sounds easy, but so many times we block some of the most beautiful things that could be in our lives because we are simply too scared to accept them. Fear is the first thing that’s stopping you from the relationship you’ve always wanted. Fear that you’ll never have it, fear that once you get it you’ll lose it and worst of all fear that you don’t deserve it. We are all so scared of not having something, losing something or that we aren’t deserving of something that we scare ourselves into never actually going for it! It’s so much easier to say that you just haven’t found the one than admitting that you are so terrified of putting yourself out there and exposing your vulnerabilities that you never gave anyone the chance to get close enough to you to fall in love with you. It’s easier to block any potential of a real relationship with excuses of timing or distance than to jump into a relationship and risk the chance of having your heart-broken. Lastly, it’s much much much easier to assume nobody out there would love you because if someone else loves you that means you are deserving and that you also love yourself.
We are all deserving of love. We just have to step up to the plate and really start to believe it. Without that shift in perception, nothing in your life or your relationship status will change. Love from a partner won’t come to you until you truly love yourself. So how can we start to love ourselves more and have a little more faith? I was hoping you’d ask!
Self-love Homework:
- Write 5 things you love about yourself! (Anything! This should be easy!)
- For one hour each day do something that only benefits you! (Meditate, pray, write, exercise, get a spa treatment, take a dance or language class, read outside etc.) (Do not: go numb and watch tv or sleep for this hour! This is self-improvement to improve your-self love! Try this for a month!)
- Wake up every morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are inside and out! This little girl is probably the best example of how to start your day!
- Ask your best friends/family members to tell you your best qualities and why you are friends! Examples and stories are great, too!
- Make it a point to go out and be social without any expectations of meeting someone! This is for you to have fun!
Having Faith in Love Homework:
- Write down a list of your love goals. (Finding your soul-mate, getting married, having kids, etc.)
- Name ten people who have been able to achieve the goals you mentioned above! (Blair is happily married, Emma is totally in love! etc.) (This will help you realize your goals are POSSIBLE!)
- Read your love goals out loud in present tense once a day until you really start to believe that they will happen. (e.g. I have a soul mate, I am happily married, I have 3 healthy children etc.)
- Pray, meditate, read your preferred religious or spiritual book, attend church or class at whatever spiritual center you are comfortable going to, get back into believing.
- Walk the talk. Once you know what you want and believe it will happen, don’t shy away from questions like “Are you interested in marriage” they come up a lot and the typical answer is a hesitated “I don’t know” or just “no.” That was the old you that was too scared to say “YES!” Now, calmly say “yes” and own the fact that you are ready to love and be loved with the right person!
WANNABE WIVES CLUB 